{"id":13503,"date":"2017-10-21T14:00:08","date_gmt":"2017-10-21T21:00:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/community.nrs.com\/?p=13503"},"modified":"2022-01-06T06:46:13","modified_gmt":"2022-01-06T14:46:13","slug":"the-river-guide-manicure","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/community.nrs.com\/duct-tape\/2017\/10\/21\/the-river-guide-manicure\/","title":{"rendered":"The River Guide Manicure"},"content":{"rendered":"

Step one: Clench your hands around solid wooden cylinders for four to six hours a day. Preferably, ones connected to oars that are moving a half-ton load of metal, rubber, food and people against a casual upstream 5-45 mile-per-hour breeze while the glorious sun weasels its way into your knuckle creases and a delightful sweat\/sunscreen concoction drips off your forehead, landing in minuscule cuts with a sting that\u2019s only slightly less painful than that of a yellow jacket. Rinse in river water and repeat for 100 days.<\/p>\n

Can\u2019t make it out on the water that much? No problem. Grab two wooden rolling pins and duct tape your hands to them. Turn up the heat to between 90-108 degrees. Enlist 29 of your closest friends to spray you with a power washer while an industrial-grade fan blows. Do between 1,000-1,000,000 pushups while cracking jokes about those \u201cOh shoot!\u201d moments, when it was big and you were awesome.<\/p>\n

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Step two: Rub your chapped skin along your rigging straps<\/a> as you unpack dry bags and metal boxes. Make sure to dry them out as much as possible in preparation for dish duty, when you will dunk them repeatedly in water that alternates from scalding to bleached: it\u2019s the newest beauty trend sweeping river beaches across the nation.<\/p>\n

Step three: Remember that your body is the foundation of your livelihood\u2014or leisure\u2014and deserves care.<\/p>\n

Most sports enthusiasts and athletes engage in some sort of warm-up before their event. Instead of warming up by wrapping your digits around a fourth cup of cowboy coffee, take three minutes to do some basic hand exercises and stretches.<\/p>\n

I start my morning routine while still ensconced in my sleeping bag, because once I exit my cocoon of comfort, I get too wrapped up in the motion of the morning and just shove my pain away. If you\u2019re like me, then take those few moments of cozy, pre-dawn comfort to focus on moving your hands, wrists, and arms ergonomically and gently. Extensions are crucial, especially when your hands start to unconsciously curl. When my dad was diagnosed with arthritis in his hands, I started doing his exercises<\/a>\u2014really. I do a few sets of finger flicks and wiggles to loosen things up, and then couple stretching each finger individually for 20 seconds with deep breaths.<\/p>\n