Two cowboys walk into a bar and sit down next to two gay women.

It sounds like the start of a classic joke. But it’s actually what happened to us. So there we were, sitting in the Dusty Mule Bar in Elk Bend. We had been there for a while when two cowboys (real cowboys) walked in and took up the seats next to us. After some small talk, Judd turned and looked at Toria and asked, “So what do you think about men?”

Toria, who is quite the introvert and was caught off guard by the question, stuttered out: “Uhhh… we’re married.”

Judd, confused by her answer, asked: “What do you mean?”

Toria, by this point fairly red in the face, responded: “To each other…”

I could feel both of us holding our breath as we awaited their response. Judd pulled his well-worn cowboy hat off his head and slammed it on the bar as his friend Randy exclaimed: “Well shitttttt…”

Jud looked up at the bartender, raised four fingers in the air and said: “Four Jell-O shots, please!”

Beers followed Jell-O shots and we chatted with them for hours. We heard about their lives as lifelong cowboys and they heard about ours as women working in the outdoors. We laughed a lot and afterwards wondered whether we were the first gay people these cowboys had ever met.

Toria and I launched on our SUP expedition in the midst of the fall 2025 government shutdown. People from all over the political spectrum were frustrated: at a government seemingly not working and with those they deemed “other.” Whenever I read the news, it seemed filled with pain, loss, and anger. And while I do find it important to stay informed, I was looking forward to a break from the “us versus them” mindset.

Given that we were about to do a 25-day river trip, and that my wife is an introvert, I mentally prepared for a month of less human interaction than normal. How wrong I was.

Whenever there was a diner, bar, gas station, or cafe along the river, we stopped. And nothing invites conversation more than two people, dressed in drysuits, showing up in a small town bar where everyone in there knows each other. People were incredibly friendly, curious, and helpful. They bought us beers, whiskeys, and Jell-O shots. Invited us to stay at their houses, use their saunas, and even camp on the floor of their bars.

Some people even begged us to let them drive us around the sections with rapids, since they couldn’t believe that stand-up paddleboards would actually want to run the whitewater. Jetboaters handed us Modelos out of their coolers and told us about downstream hot springs we’d never heard of. An outfitter in Riggins that we cold-called let us use their office as a re-ration location and gave us their phone number, insisting we InReach them if we had an emergency and needed extraction. People gave us fresh vegetables and plums off their trees. Two men fishing shared their roll of tape when we ran low.

I first realized there would be more to this journey than just the whitewater when we stopped in at the Clayton Silver Bar. Clayton, population 10, is a mining town that’s experienced booms and busts throughout its history that have coincided with the mining operations nearby. As a river runner, it can be easy to vilify miners, but sitting in the bar chatting with them, I realized that they have very similar desires as I do. They want to live in and get to know a beautiful place, be able to spend time outside, and become a master of their craft. It felt eerily similar to working in the outdoor industry, which also has its share of high times and low times. 

Besides, the minerals that the people in the bar were mining were going into things like hand lotion, which is pretty much standard issue in a river guide’s ammo can.

The afternoon wore on, conversations deepened and connections grew. We left the bar just before dark, with hearts fuller, lots to ponder, and a few whiskey gingers and kinnikinnick teas on board. I knew that everyone in that bar cared about the river we were alongside. We may have different ideas on what that stewardship should look like, but I felt confident that there was much more common ground than a news anchor would lead me to believe.

As we continued downstream, we met more miners, ranchers, farmers, teachers, jet boat pilots, hunters, business owners, van lifers, homesteaders, and steelheaders, including a grandfather and granddaughter fishing together. When we were along the road, people would slow their cars and drive alongside us, carrying on loud conversations with us as we floated. People would often pull over and film us paddling rapids, cheering us along.

The overwhelming feeling I had along the river was one of connectedness with my fellow humans, in particular ones that lead lives and hold beliefs different from my own. It was such a helpful reminder that humans are innately good and are often quick to lend a hand.

The trip refilled my cup in so many ways beyond just the adventure. I realized that even though I consider myself a militant optimist, I had let fear of the future and the divisive tone of our politics mar my hopes for a better tomorrow. Connecting with people on this trip was a much needed reminder that most people care about others, even those they do not know.

The next time you go on a river trip, I encourage you to lose yourself to the playfulness of the water, bask in the beautiful places, and hopefully enjoy a charcuterie board or two. But I also hope that you find moments to venture beyond the banks of the river and meet the people along it. I’m confident that it will inspire you to remember that we humans are in it together, and that’s a good thing.

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Guest Contributors Toria and Annie DeRosso are adventure-lovers based in Ketchum, Idaho. They love exploring the mountains and rivers on any craft they can get their hands on- SUPs, skis, bikes, rafts, climbing ropes and more! They are famous for bringing their travel backgammon set almost everywhere and they make a mean backcountry pizza.

Editor’s note: In October 2025 Annie and Toria paddled 398 miles over 25 days in order to complete the first stand-up paddleboard descent of the entire Salmon River. The trip doubled as their honeymoon!